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DM Guide: Hamun Kost and Old Owl Well

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The first we hear of the Thayan red wizard Hamun Kost’s activity is through Daran Edermath, a member of the Order of the Gauntlet who has retired from his adventuring life in favor of making cider in Phandalin. Apparently there has been some “undead chasing away prospectors” near Old Owl Well and he wants the party to investigate it. According to the module, “Daran knows that the that the ruins are an old watchtower of an ancient magic empire known as Netheril, and he worries that dangerous magic might be dormant there.”1

Plot Hook: Sister Garaele is Missing!

When I ran through Lost Mines as a player, our DM never mentioned the Old Owl Well quest to us, even though we met Daran Edermath, and after I had read the module, I can see why. First off, Phandalin is beset by the more urgent problem of the Redbrand Menace. Second, all the Daran offers the party in terms of a quest hook is “rumors of undead” and “ancient magical ruins”. While the mention of magical ruins might be enough for adventurers hungry for magical items, for most parties it doesn’t seem more compelling than the main storyline.

If Sister Garaele, the devout cleric and friend of Edermath (I assume so since they’re neighbors) went missing while looking into the activity at Old Owl Well, however, then we have a whole new level of urgency. In both runs I did of Phandelver the party took a vote to decide whether to go after Garaele or the Redbrands first.

Here’s a link to the article about the Sister Garaele plot hook: https://cros.land/2019/09/old-owl-well-agatha-plot-hook-sister-garaele-is-missing/. Since this hook is intertwined with the Agatha the Banshee quest given by Sister Garaele, I created a separate article for it.

TL;DR for the above article:

  • Sister Garaele’s Harper superiors are worried about Hamun Kost’s activity in the region
  • Sister Garaele goes to investigate and Hamun Kost gets the drop on her
  • The party can pursue several clues to determine that she had went to Old Owl Well (clues provided in above article)

How Would Hamun Kost Deal With Sister Garaele?

To me, Hamun Kost’s main motivation is the completion of his research and Sister Garaele is an impediment to it. He’s trying to keep a low profile and he knows that he can’t just let her go. However, he’s not saturday morning cartoon villain evil either, so he’s keeping her tied up until he can decide what to do with. Most likely he will let her go after his research is done. He may even return to Thay after he gets what he wants from the Well.

Hamun Kost’s Quests

When the party visits Kost, they’ll likely confront him about Garaele (both my parties did). Should the party kill off the orcs of Wyvern Tor or successfully parley with Agatha on Kost’s behalf, he’ll let Garaele go free. He may want some assurances from the party that they won’t interrupt with his research after he lets Garaele go, so a few persuasion checks may be involved.

Vanquishing the Orcs of Wyvern Tor

This seems like a pretty straightforward quest for the party. Since orcs have occupied Old Owl Well many times over the ages, it makes sense that the Orcs of Wyvern Tor have used Old Owl Well as a temporary outpost with plans of reclaiming the glory of the 600 strong orc tribe that made the Well their home over 100 years ago. It’s clear that they would consider Old Owl Well their territory, and perhaps have already made some incursions. See this article on the Wyvern Tor Orcs for more background.

Questions for Agatha the Banshee

Although I had originally thought Hamun Kost’s question about who built the tower at Old Owl Well was a useless trivia question, I realized the answer could prove a of great value to a scholar like Hamun Kost. Hamun Kost knows that Old Owl Well was a Netherese outpost, but knowing just who built it could lead to more clues about the place. If Hamun Kost knew the builder of the well, he could focus his studies to just one or two books in the 15 volume history of Netheril he carries around with him.

However, this might not be as interesting as other possible questions. Hamun Kost may, for example, have uncovered one of the entrances to the complex already, but needs to know the answer to a riddle to open it. So the question might be something like: “What is the motto of the Netherese family [insert family name here]?” This may give the party a small hint that there is something more to Old Owl Well than they think. Not only that, but should they revisit the Well later, they would know the password which opens the doors to whatever lies beneath the Well.

It’s also possible that Hamun Kost may want to know the location of an important magical item. Depending on how you play him, he could be arrogant and unwise enough to give this question to the party. This might be even more likely if they earn his trust.

Hamun Kost’s Backstory and Motivation

Since Old Owl Well happens to be an outpost from the massively powerful ancient magical empire of Netheril and because the Red Wizards of Thay are a Nation ruled by power hungry evil wizards who happen to use the undead as slaves, it’s not hard to deduce that Hamun Kost is after magical power himself, either in the form of long-buried magical items or long-forgotten magical knowledge. It’s not clear, however, if Hamun Kost is after something specific or after magic power in general. This is where the DM’s creativity can come into play.

Hamun Kost, the Rebel

In Tyranny of Dragons, there’s a splinter group that seeks to ally itself with the Cult of the Dragon, summon the god Tiamat, and with Tiamat’s aid overthrow Szass Tam, the current lich ruler of Thay. It makes sense that Hamun Kost would be allied with this group in search of powerful artifacts that may aid the Cult in its goals.

However, this splinter group doesn’t necessarily have to be allied with the Cult of the Dragon. Indeed you can easily replace the Cult of the Dragon with any other nefarious group that happens to be the focus of whatever campaign you choose to run after Lost Mines. To me, this opportunity feels too delicious to pass up. In some future session, characters could potentially travel to Thay to meet with the lich Szass Tam’s inner circle and forge an uneasy alliance against this mutual threat some time down the road.

Hamun Kost, the Arrogant Buffoon

I find it amusing that Hamun Kost chose to travel alone to Old Owl Well and decided to keep his rather ostentatious red wizard garb, especially in a land that would treat red wizards with suspicion. Not only that, but he sets up a bright vermillion tent in the middle of nowhere and raises a whole bunch of zombies to do excavation work. For someone who wants to keep a low profile, he’s not doing a great job.

To me, this can be easily explained both by the arrogance of the red wizards (they believe they can go where they please without hiding) as well as the fact that Hamun Kost is oblivious to anything not pertaining to his beloved research–very much like an absent minded professor. Hamun Kost will likely be preoccupied and want to get the adventurers out of his hair as soon as possible.

What is Hamun Kost Looking For?

According to Forgotten Realms lore, it turns out that beneath Old Owl Well there was a vault full of chardalyn, priceless gems that could hold spells indefinitely. These gems could be used for epic spells that the Netherese had been known to cast:

The Netherese could:

These epic 10th level spells can no longer be cast because reasons. However, learning the secrets behind these spells could lead to creation of new 9th level spells with similar though lesser effects. Furthermore, there may be a magical item or chardalyn left behind with a single charge of one of these spells left in them. If a Hamun Kost and his allies got their hands on this item, Faerûn is going to have a bad time.

Since chardalyn seem to be an essential component for these epic spells it follows that a powerful arcanist may have wanted to set up a secret stronghold where there happen to be large amounts of these gems. This is a prime opportunity for to insert a dungeon. In fact I plan on creating a dungeon for my players, so stay tuned!

What Does Hamun Kost Know?

Old Owl Well has a long history of being occupied by various powers, so if Hamun Kost is after magical power, he has to be in possession of some knowledge about this place that others who came searching for it did not have. Perhaps when players enter Kost’s tent they see a large stack of books written in Thayan on the history of Netheril. Somewhere in this mountain of books Hamun Kost found mention of an underground complex in the form of an ancient vault (or laboratory or temple or library etc) and thus he has sent his zombies digging in search of it.

Since this underground complex was built by a mega-powerful magic empire, it may make sense for the party to revisit the area beneath Old Owl Well when they reach a higher level. If left alone, I imagine that Hamun Kost would spend several more weeks digging until he found the entrance to the the complex beneath the Well. Eventually, he would be chased away by the magical construct guardians the Netherese left behind. Perhaps later, Hamun Kost would manage to recruit some adventurers, fellow Red Wizards or evil allies like the Cultists in Tyranny of Dragons (or your minions of choice) to aid him with further excavation of the vault. The party would catch wind of this through various clues, and revisit the well.

Old Owl Well History (Cliffs Notes Version)

The ideas above have taken some liberties with Forgotten Realms lore and history, so I thought it might be good to provide a cliffs notes version of the actual history of Old Owl Well so that DMs can get a little more background.

Who Built The Well?

Old Owl Well is an old outpost built by the Netherese, an ancient civilization so advanced in their command of magic that they could, as mentioned above, literally uproot a mountain and make it float in mid air. The Netherese drilled a hole five miles deep as well as a complicating piping system so that the well in the courtyard supplies fresh water to this day.

Why Was Old Owl Well Built?

The Netherese built the well under the direction of a mysterious Sarrukh (powerful ancient lizard race) named Arthindol. Arthindol was a shapeshifter, lich, and powerful mage who took the form of a human and as far as I can tell, the Netherese didn’t know about Arthindol’s true form. Arthindol had been dubbed the “Terraseer” for his ability to see events happening everywhere in the world. Ostensibly, Arthindol set up the well and watchtower to spy on some nearby elves and to supply trade in the area.

A Vault of Magic Gems

This appears to be a cover story, however. What the Terraseer was really after was an ancient vault left over by a Sarrukh empire that was ancient even when Netheril existed. This vault was filled with valuable chardalyn gems which had the ability to store magic spells. Arthindol wasn’t the only one after these gems, as the area had been protected by over 3000 owlbears that evil deepspawn had created. Eventually, the Netherese slaughtered the owlbears and the deepspawn. The gems (probably not all of them) were secured and from then on the outpost became known as Old Owl Well in honor of the dead owlbears.

Personally, I don’t find the Sarrukh or deepspawn very compelling, so instead of a Sarrukh vault, I like the idea that there’s a natural deposit of chardalyn under the well. That way the story is more focused on the Netherese and their arcanists and is not muddied by details about the Sarrukh.

What Happened to the Well After the Fall of Netheril?

Because the well was an endless source of fresh water, and because there wasn’t another reliable water source in miles, various powers have vied for possession of the well over the ages after Netheril fell. The last power to occupy the well were soldiers of Neverwinter. My guess is that after Neverwinter was destroyed by the eruption of Mt. Hotenow, nobody was around to pay the soldiers and they disbanded, leaving the ruins unoccupied except for the occasional roving band of orcs that made camp there.

If we’re going to be true to the lore of the Well, the description of a crumbling watchtower with a courtyard could use a little more work. There should be evidence of the many civilizations who had made this place their outpost. The Well, could, for example be surrounded by crumbling stone wall of various architectural styles. The latest defenses by the Neverwinter soldiers, perhaps some hastily set up stockades, still remain in fragments, and since orcs (perhaps the orcs of Wyvern Tor?) have made camp here in the past, perhaps there are crude shrines left behind to the God Gruumsh as well as graffiti of the Wyvern Tor orcs on the stone walls.

Further Reading/Watching

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Quest: The Redemption of Agatha the Banshee

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The Redemption of Agatha the Banshee is a homebrew supplementary quest to Lost Mines of Phandelver which players can discover when visiting Cragmaw Castle. In this supplement, Auglatha refers to the true elven name for the Banshee Agatha. For more information on the suggested backstory for Agatha in this quest, please see the NPC Guide for Agatha the Banshee.

Summary

According to the backstory suggested in the NPC Guide for Agatha the Banshee, Cragmaw Castle (formerly known as Melarue Keep) used to be property of Agatha’s (Auglatha’s) family, the Melarue clan. The Melarue were an elven family devoted to Sehanine Moonbow, a goddess skilled in the arts of divination and illusion. Clues in the altar room of Cragmaw castle lead to the family secret sanctum beneath. In the sanctum, the party learns a little bit about Auglatha the Banshee’s former life and the pursuit of a magic sword leads the party to the Banshee’s lair. Should the party play their cards right, the DM can choose to reward the party with a powered down version of a Moonblade (details below).

Cragmaw Castle: The Defaced Shrine

Below are some additional details to add to area #9 of Cragmaw Castle.1

When the party first enters the room they see a stone altar. On top of it is a wooden block covered in darkened blood which has spilled over the edges and onto the altar of stone. Laid neatly in a row in front of the block are the heads of hobgoblins, bugbears and goblins lined up as well as some humans. These beheaded goblinoids were executed for incompetence. These heads are also offerings to their God, Maglubiyet. At the end of the row are the remains of a statue’s head sundered in half . The sundered stone head appears to be the face of a beautiful elven woman (DC 15 Religion check to learn it is Sehanine Moonbow, the elven Goddess skilled in divination and illusion. Religion check should be made with advantage for elves/half-elves).

On the northern wall of the room is a simple steel axe hanging from pitons crudely hammered into the wall. There appear to be smears of red all across the walls. Any character with a passive perception above 15 will notice that the red smears appear to be an effort to deface the symbols of the god who was once revered here. Behind the axe, you can make out what appears to be the symbol of a full moon and a bluish gray semicircle. Extending from the moon are painted representations of blue and silver rays of moonlight. These rays stretch across the walls and although the paint has nearly worn away, you can see evidence of a single moonbeam that stretching all the way across the floor to the opposite wall.

Also upon the wall is a phrase in elvish:

“The path opens for our Goddess, her feet bathed in moonlight“

At the southern end of the room is a marble statue of a woman with the head removed. The statue appears to be facing the wall instead of into the room. The statue’s feet are attached to a stone circle. There is a small half inch gap between the edges of the stone circle and the floor. A DC 15 investigation check reveals that it may be possible to rotate the statue. Players may be able to figure this out themselves without the check.

If the statue is turned in the direction of the moon symbol, there are clicking and clacking sounds and the altar moves aside (cue Zelda secret door sound).

Should the party not enter the altar room or not figure out the statue puzzle you can easily have another entrance near King Grol’s quarters. In this case, you probably need to have a grick or two waiting below (which would explain why the Cragmaw goblinoids haven’t ransacked it yet).

The Melarue Family Secret Sanctum

Map of the Melarue Family Secret Sanctum.
(link to map without numbers)

Overview

A swirl of dust spirals into the air when the party descends into the Melarue family sanctum. The noises of the goblinoids in the castle fade to nothing here–the silence feels absolute.

The Melarue Family secret sanctum served several purposes. This was where Auglatha’s father, Quarion Melarue, kept his private study. It also housed a more intimate private shrine to Sehanine Moonbow as well as the sacred Well of the Moon (area 3). Finally, this was a refuge area for family members to keep safe should the keep ever fall under attack. In addition to the secret entrance from the altar room above, a secret tunnel leads out from the sanctum to a location in the woods outside Cragmaw Castle.

The Attack on the Sanctum

Auglatha’s lover, Gwinforth the human bard, learned of the sanctum’s location through Auglatha. Betraying her trust, he shared the story with Chuth, the Green Dragon with whom he was in league. When the family retreated into the sanctum, Gwinforth opened it up, and Chuth spewed his deadly poison gas into the underground chamber, killing the whole family except Auglatha who had by luck had been gathering medicinal herbs in the woods. Kobolds who served Chuth brought the bodies up to their master who devoured them one by one.

Secret Sanctum Locations

The following locations are keyed to the map of the Melarue Family Secret Sanctum.

1. Quarion Melarue’s Study

This was where Quarion Melarue, Auglatha’s father, studied the arcane arts as well write most of his correspondences. Most of these books are not spellbooks, but rather books on the theory of divination and illusion magics.

Mya’s Skeleton: Hidden underneath the desk is a small skeleton wearing the clothes of a very young elven girl. This is Mya Melarue, Auglatha’s younger sister. Although Mya had succumbed to the Green Dragon’s poison, her body had been overlooked by the Kobolds. Auglatha learned about what happened to her by casting speak with the dead. Mya had observed a human riding the back of the Green Dragon and and by her description Auglatha deduced that it could have only been Gwinforth behind her family’s death.

Bookshelf: A thorough search of the shelf will reveal a spellbook with 3-4 divination and illusion spells of the DMs choice as well as a book on the Melarue family history. Should an elven or half-elven party member be related to the Melarue family, their grandfather’s name will be written in the family tree.

Chest: The lock on this chest has been smashed open. At first glance the chest is empty. However, there is a false bottom in the chest which will be revealed with a DC 15 passive perception. Inside the false bottom is Quarion’s journal and a platinum signet ring with the Melarue family crest (worth 50gp). This signet ring may come in handy later when speaking to living members of the Melarue clan. The journal expresses concern about a Green Dragon who has made its lair near the keep, as well as concern about Auglatha spending too much time with her human lover, the bard Gwinforth.

2. Sanctum Shrine

This is a small shrine dedicated to Sehanine Moonbow. There is an alcove in the wall where a beautifully painted statue of the Melarue’s patron goddess stands. If anyone in the party has Melarue blood, they are immediately drawn to the alcove and they sense something important is behind it. A DC 10 perception check reveals that the alcove is turned slightly to the side. Auglatha, in her haste to seek revenge on Gwinforth failed to seal the alcove properly when she left.

3. Well of the Moon

The secret door to the Well of the Moon is behind the shrine to Sehanine Moonbow. Inside is a small pool that emits a bright silvery light akin to that of a full moon. Upon the surface of the water is the image of a large full moon. This was where members of the Melarue family partook in the Silver Truth (see below) as well as perform scrying spells.

Boon (The Silver Truth): Beside the well is a silver dipper set upon an ornate wooden side table with the following words written in elvish on its surface: “May the silver truth guide you”. If any party member drinks the water of the pool, they are imbued with the single-use power to remove delusions and self-deceptions from any being. They will also be able to detect delusions in any being as they speak. Once the water is imbibed, the full moon in the pool gradually fades to a faint crescent moon and to the darkness of a new moon. The well takes 30 days to return to a full moon state, whereupon a drinker can receive the Silver Truth boon again.

Sword sheath: At the south end of the room on two iron hooks is an ornate sheath of a sword with platinum and gold filigree. It looks to be valuable. Should a party member pick it up, they see a line of what seems to be moonlight pointing in a Southeastern direction. A successful Investigation or Acana check (DC10) will reveal that this is probably the location of the sword for this sheath. The sword is located in Conyberry and is in the possession of Auglatha the Banshee.

After Auglatha had cast speak with the dead on her sister to learn what had happened to her family, she went straight to the well to scry on the location of her lover Gwinforth, who was heading towards Conyberry. In a rage, she took the sword from the wall, neglecting the sheath as well as neglecting to completely seal the shrine’s secret door and left in pursuit of him.

4. Ransacked Supplies

Broken barrels and crates are strewn all about this area, covered in the fine layer of dust. These crates had been torn open by the kobolds who worked in the service of the green dragon Chuth. Nothing is in them. Anything that was not consumed on the spot was carried away.

5. Bedchambers

These bedchambers served as an emergency sleeping area for the family in case of a siege. Judging by the thick layer of dust, no one has been here in a long time.

Secret Passage: To the south of the room, a DC 15 perception check will reveal a secret passage to the south. This passage leads to the woods outside of Cragmaw Castle.

6. Privy

Three rudimentary toilets line the far end the room.

7. Secret Passage

This secret passage is 8ft tall by 5-6ft wide. It progresses for about 500 feet before ending up in the woods outside of Cragmaw castle.

Returning to Auglatha’s Lair

Characters following the moonlight trail emitting from the sheath will eventually make it back to Auglatha’s lair. When presented with the sword and/or asked about her family’s demise she will tell her story: Of her relationship with Gwinforth and of Gwinforth’s betrayal and the attack on her family’s keep. Finally, she will tell the party about her confrontation with Gwinforth. When Auglatha faced Gwinforth to attack him, the bard pulled the sword from her hands with a telekinesis spell, and sent it straight back at her heart (and she will point to the dark hole where her heart once was). Inside the black hole in her chest is the Moonblade, the Melarue family heirloom and sacred sword.

Setting Auglatha Free

Should a party member have received the silver truth boon (mentioned above) they will notice their hands start to glow with moonlight when Auglatha speaks. According to the Monster Manual, A Banshee is “forced to relive every memory of their life with perfect recall, yet always refuses to accept responsibility for its doom.”2 so it should follow that anyone using the silver truth boon could potentially help a banshee see how she contributed to her own demise.

It was mentioned by Maciej Krzysztoszek, a member of the Lost Mines of Phandelver DMs Facebook group, that the banshee lore as it stands leads too far into victim blaming and I have to agree. Instead, it may be better to flip the lore and make it so that the reason Auglatha is a banshee is because she refuses to grant herself forgiveness. She is consumed by her guilt and fails to see how she others were more responsible than she was. To me, this is a stronger story and only requires a small tweak of the lore.

Upon using the silver truth boon on the banshee, a brilliant beam of moonlight arcs from the hand of its wielder. Upon impact with the banshee, the moonlight bursts from Auglatha’s eyes. She reaches her hand to cover her mouth and an otherworldly scream pierces the air. Since the scream is muffled, the damage to party members is not as much as a Banshee’s wail. All party members must make a DC 13 constitution save. If they fail, they take 3d6 damage. If they succeed, they take half as much.

When the scream subsides, Auglatha looks up to the party. At this point, her horrible visage reverts to a spectral version of the beautiful elven woman that she had been before. She starts sobbing both out of repressed grief and of relief. She had believed that she was to blame in the tragedy that befell her family, and refused to acknowledge the fact that it was Gwinforth and not she who was at fault. Having finally come to terms with with fact with the help of the silver truth, she is set free.

The Moonblade

As a thanks to the party, Auglatha reaches into the black hole in her chest and pulls out her family blade. The black hole where it had been starts to slowly seal. She then disappears, free.

The moonblade (short sword) has two states, awakened and dormant.

The dormant moonblade has the following properties:

  • Requires Attunement
  • +1 to attack/damage. +2 to attack/damage against shapeshifters.
  • If the blade comes in contact with a shapeshifter, the blade will temporarily reveal their true form (they do not revert to their true form).
  • Grants the wielder the ability to cast the minor illusion cantrip.

Should the wielder engage in combat with any of the sworn enemies of the Melarue clan, the blade becomes awakened. In my run of this adventure the blade will become awakened when fighting the green dragon Chuth in Tyranny of Dragons.

The awakened moonblade has the following properties in addition to the dormant properties:

  • The blade becomes sentient, and has a personality.
  • +2 to attack/damage. +3 to attack/damage against shapeshifters.
  • Shapeshifters have a chance to lose their form when damaged by the blade (DC 12 Constitution Saving throw, once per round). They can use their action to repeat this save on subsequent turns.
  • Grants the wielder the ability to cast Spirit Guardians. 1/day. The Spirit guardians take the form of the Melarue family clan (including Auglatha). The wielder has advantage on concentration saves for this spell.
  • Grants wielder the ability to cast Silent Image. 1/day.

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Old Owl Well/Agatha Story Hook: Sister Garaele is Missing!

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Related Article: NPC guide to Agatha the Banshee.

The only two hooks we’re given for the Agatha the Banshee quest are from sister Garaele, a Harper who lives in Phandalin and Hamun Kost, a lone red wizard digging around Old Owl Well. Both of them want the answers to trivia questions which aren’t very interesting. Sister Garaele wants to know the “location of a spell book belonging to a legendary mage named Bowgentle” for which she offers 3 healing potions.1. Hamun kost wants to know “the name of the wizard who built the tower at old owl well”. In return Kost may give the party some “information they need”.2.

Not only are the questions a bit lackluster, but the party may not even meet sister Garaele in the first place because the rumor that “she came back from somewhere a little haggard” is not as compelling as the more immediate issue of the Redbrands bleeding the town dry.

This problem, however, is easily solved if sister Garaele left town for some reason and never came back. Further investigation by the party reveals that she has received word from her Harper contacts that a red wizard has arrived in the region and they task her to investigate it. Through various clues, the party can discover that Sister Garaele has been captured by Hamun Kost. Should they rescue her, she may trust them enough to give them the Agatha quest.

Clues to Old Owl Well

At this point you may want to brainstorm possible clues that sister Garaele or her harper contacts may have left behind to lead the party to Old Owl Well. Here are some possibilities:

  • Garaele could leave behind a silver mirror (used in scrying) and beside it is a sketch of Old Owl Well. However, this would make her at least a 9th high cleric and you’d have to explain how Hamun Kost, a less accomplished wizard, got the jump on her–which could be doable if she had let her guard down.
  • The Harper letter to Garaele mentions Old Owl Well to begin with.
  • The Harper letter to Garaele states that Hamun Kost was seen headed up the Triboar Trail. On the trail, the party could encounter two zombies carrying a handcart full of dead bodies toward Old Owl Well (more diggers for Hamun Kost’s excavation). The zombies would ignore they party unless attacked, and the wheel ruts obviously turn off to the location of the Well. The “squeak-squeak” of the handcart in the middle of the night is a lot of fun to play out.
  • Someone close to sister Garaele tells the party where she went. Daran Edermath would be a good candidate for this, since they’re neighbors.
  • Of course, you can always have the Daran Edermath hook3. Although I envision Edermath as a retired adventurer who has “seen too much” and just wants to make his cider. Having him as an active agent of the Order of the Gauntlet doesn’t fit for me.

You can also try the Scryberries hook below. In the two runs I’ve done of Lost Mines both parties actually had to cast a vote to decide whether or not to rescue Garaele or deal with the Redbrands. One party voted to go after Garaele first, and the other went to rescue Garaele after they had cleansed Phandalin.

How I ran it: Scryberries!

When the party approaches sister Garaele’s house, they notice that a faint blue light emanates from one of the windows. When they open the door, they find a stalk growing out of the ground from which 3 glowing berries hang. Sister Garaele, through her connection to her Goddess (I changed it from Tymora to Mielikki because the scryberries had more of a nature goddess vibe to them) has, through her divine magic fostered the growth of these berries. Should someone ingest a berry, they’re granted a vision of the the Red Wizard, Old Owl Well, and the surrounding Sword Mountains. You may even grant a vision of the zombies and Sister Garaele being tied up. A nature check (because of the mountains) or a history check (because of the well) will reveal a more specific location. If they fail the check, they can always ask people in the town about it. Sister Garaele had already eaten one berry, found where Hamun Kost was and left these for whomever might come after (perhaps another Harper).

Better Questions for Agatha

Finally we need to address the trivia question issue. The questions that Hamun Kost and sister Garaele ask Agatha should have more stakes and make the party think twice about asking the question. Hamun Kost should feel reluctant to give the question to the party, as it gives them a clue as to what he’s searching for at Owl Well or perhaps his greater plans. He considers having sister Garaele captive good enough leverage, however, to ensure that the party won’t betray him.

Similarly Sister Garaele’s question should be vital to Harper interests, and while perhaps Bowgentle’s spellbook may have some rare 9th level spells, magic items, and locations of powerful enemies are much more interesting.

Some possible questions for Hamun Kost

  • Where is the [powerful sounding magical item]? This could be an important item for later in the campaign. Perhaps it’s currently in possession of some powerful being so pursuing it would be foolhardy.
  • A weird question like: “What was Arthindol’s favorite animal?” Perhaps down in Old Owl well there’s a magic door that can only be opened by knowledge of this odd bit of information.

Some possible questions for Sister Garaele

  • Where is the [powerful sounding magical item]? This works just as well for Sister Garaele and her harper interests.
  • Who is the leader of [insert evil organization here] and where can they be found?
  • What is the reason for the red wizard activity on the Sword Coast?

It should be noted that the answers to some of these questions go beyond the scope of divination magic in DnD 5e. However, since Agatha is an ethereal being, it can be explained that she has access to greater divination magics than mere mortals do.

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Any Additional Hooks?

What about you? How have you brought your players to Agatha the Banshee/Old Owl Well?

Lost Mines of Phandelver NPC Guide: Agatha the Banshee

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I have come to regard Agatha as one of my favorite characters in the Lost Mines module although she certainly didn’t start that way. Initially she seemed like a placeholder character in a tiresome fetch quest, but after taking some time to flesh out her backstory and motivations I believe (and I hope you’ll come to agree) that Agatha can be so much more than the trivia question answerer the module presents her to be.

First Things First: Let’s Call her Auglatha

As the My Realms Blog observes: “[The name Agatha] makes her sound like a character from an episode of Bewitched” and not an an infamous undead being who apparently knows everything about everything. (Incidentally, the My Realms blog has a WEALTH of ideas for deepening the story and lore behind Lost Mines Characters and Quests. If you want to run the Conyberry encounter with a little more depth than the module offers, this article on Agatha should be required reading).

According to the article, apparently in one of the D&D CRPGs “it was revealed that Agatha is actually a corruption of the banshee’s surname which is Auglatha meaning Winterbreeze“. This is so much cooler than the original IMHO. Also, at the end of the article we’re given a suggested given name for the banshee: Melarue.

Because Melarue seemed a better family name to me, I preferred to make her name Auglatha Melarue. Either way, the name certainly has a bit more gravitas to it.

To avoid confusion, the banshee will still be referred to Agatha with occasional references to Auglatha in parentheses.

Building Agatha’s Origin Story

While I’ve crafted my own backstory for Agatha (offered below), here are some important questions to think about should you write your own:

  • Who was Agatha in life? Elves live a very long time, so it follows that Agatha may have some living family members. If a member of your party is elven or half-elven they may even be related to her! Indeed, they could have a still living grandparents who knew Agatha personally. Consider incorporating this into a character’s backstory on session zero.
  • Since nothing in the Monster Manual seems to suggest that Banshees are adept at divining, it makes sense that Agatha was an adept of divination both in life as well as in undeath. How did she learn her powers of divination?
  • Banshees are, according to the Monster Manual, “the undead remnants of elves who, blessed with great beauty, failed to use their gift to bring joy to the world. Instead, they used their beauty to corrupt and control others.”1. How did Agatha corrupt and control others?
  • How did Agatha die? Banshees are forever bound to the place of their demise. She probably wasn’t a native of Conyberry, as it was a mostly human settlement of subsistence farmers. How did she end up there? Why did she die there?
  • Who was Agatha’s enemy? There are lots of beings in the realms who can live for hundreds of years. Whoever killed Agatha may still be alive somewhere out there (This could be the perfect hook for a future adventure). This enemy might be good or evil, and could have even been a former ally who betrayed her.
  • According to the Monster Manual Banshees are “forced to relive every moment of its life with perfect recall, yet refuses to accept responsibility for its doom.” Is there someone or something that out there in the world who can convince Agatha to accept responsibility for her evil actions, perhaps in a much longer character arc?

My take on the Agatha Story

For my take on the Agatha story I stole another idea from the My Realms Blog that was just too good: Agatha’s family actually owned Cragmaw Castle in the distant past. If a party member makes a high history check or does a thorough investigation of Iarno Albrek’s bookshelf (Iarno would likely be interested in the history and lore of the Cragmaw tribe’s current hideout), they may learn about the location of a “Melarue Keep”, somewhere in Neverwinter Wood. The connection between the Keep and Cragmaw Castle may not become clear until later, however.

A Family of Diviners

Agatha’s family, the Melarues, were expert diviners and as such they worshipped Sehanine Moonbow, the elven goddess who was particularly adept at divination and illusion spells. As a form of devotion, all family members had been trained in one or both of those arts. Agatha was particularly adept at divination and learned to scry at an early age. In Cragmaw Castle, the altar that had been defaced by King Grol’s priests was originally built to honor the Melarue patron goddess. In keeping with Sehanine’s love of illusions, Cragmaw Castle has a secret sanctum that the Goblins have not yet discovered (I will write about the secret sanctum in another article, but essentially this secret sanctum will lead to clue hooks which will start the quest for the Redemption of Agatha the Banshee.

A Gross Betrayal

I really wanted Agatha to be a character that the party could sympathize with. So instead of being corrupt, as the Monster Manual suggests, I envisioned her as being corrupt-ed. When I ran the campaign, Agatha was seduced by an evil bard in league with the green dragon Chuth (who makes an appearance in Tyranny of Dragons–feel free to replace Chuth with another long lived baddie to match your campaign). The bard tricked her into divulging the secrets of her family keep’s defenses (See the supplementary quest: The Redemption of Agatha the Banshee). When Chuth manages to break into the family’s secret sanctum and devour her family, Agatha seeks revenge on her lover at their favorite meeting place near Conyberry only to meet her end at his hand.

Building a Better Plot Hook

Building all this backstory for Agatha, however, may become a wasted effort if the party doesn’t feel like they want to go visit her in the first place. And honestly, the quest hooks that the module gives aren’t super enticing.

We need to build a better plot hook to get the party to be interested in meeting sister Gaerele or Hamun Kost in the first place (the only two quest givers). Since sister Gaerele is a Harper, and because Harpers are enemies of the Red Wizards, it follows that Gaerele would try to track down Hamun Kost and perhaps be captured by him. Should the partyrescue her, she may trust them enough to give them the Agatha quest.

Since this plot hook covers more than just the banshee, I have created a separate article for it: Old Owl Well/Agatha Plot Hook: Sister Gaerele is Missing!

Agatha/Conyberry Lore

When researching Agatha, I also looked looked into her lore and honestly I didn’t really find anything super helpful for her backstory. However, perhaps someone else can be inspired by a tidbit in the lore of Conyberry or Agatha when building their version.

Some interesting tidbits:

  • In the Halfling’s Gem, a novel by R.A. Salvatore, the heroes Drizzt Do’Urden and Wulfgar, upon recommendation from Malchor Harpell, an eccentric mage, visited the banshee in order to steal a magic mask that would essentially help Drizzt look less like a drow and blend in better. When approaching Conyberry, they encountered the villagers of Conyberry who seemed protective of her. They urged the two not to kill Agatha. They plugged their ears full of beeswax to protect themselves from the Banshee’s wail, snuck in, and stole the mask. This happened about 150 years before the events of Lost Mines, but I imagine she’s still bitter about it.
  • Apparently the villagers of Conyberry had a good relationship with Agatha. They would give her gifts that flattered her and she would in turn protect them from invaders.
  • Conyberry has been sacked by the Uthgardt Gray Wolf tribe–essentially barbarian werewolves. Should you want to involve werewolves in a future quest, this would be a great connection to make. Notably, the tribe seems to have had Orcish enemies, so this could make for a compelling connection with the Wyvern Tor quest.

Further reading/Watching:

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Lost Mines of Phandelver NPC Guide: Vyerith and Vhalak, the Doppelgangers

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Vyerith and Vhalak, the doppelgangers who serve as the The Black Spider’s henchmen in the Lost Mines of Phandelver module, seem to be shoehorned in without much thought. When I ran the module, I almost removed them as they didn’t really fit in the context of the overall story. However, after giving it some thought, I realized that the doppelgangers had a lot of potential and could actually work with just a few tweaks. All we need to do is develop their backstories and their motives a bit.

Vyerith, the naïve apprentice

We meet Vyerith in the shape of a female drow arguing with King Grol. Essentially Vyerith wants Grol to surrender the map to Wave Echo Cave to her to ensure that no one can learn its location. She also wants to ensure that Gundren hasn’t revealed the location of the cave to anyone. After she has done so, she will kill Gundren and destroy the map. 1

This motivation is good enough for your run of the mill drow underling, but it seems a bit flat for a creature who has lived its whole life taking the forms of others, collecting secrets and orchestrating chaos. Furthermore, we have to ask why a doppelganger would be working for a drow wizard in the first place? We need to come up with a backstory and from that backstory a set of motives for her so that as a DM we can play Vyerith with confidence.

A Troublesome Coming of Age

It turns out that we don’t have to go much further than the Monster Manual to find the seeds for a good backstory, especially the part about how they reproduce:

“[Doppelgangers] are too lazy or self interested to raise their young. They assume attractive male forms and seduce women, leaving them to raise their progeny. A doppelganger child appears to be a normal member of its mother’s species until it reaches adolescence, at which point it discovers its true nature and is driven to seek out its kind to join them.”2

Coming of age must be a traumatic and confusing time for a doppelganger, as not only does she spontaneously develop the ability to change her form at will and read the thoughts of anyone around her, but she also learns that her parents are not her own.

Imagine living a relatively normal life and then suddenly having your mind bombarded by the incessant thoughts of strangers around you. You realize that you aren’t even human (or elven or dwarven, or what have you) but a creature despised and feared by most common folk–even by whom you thought were your parents.

So here we have a young and troubled Vyerith who thought she was human but now realizes she is something very different. Lost and adrift, desperate to come to terms with this new identity thrust upon her, she seeks out her own kind. She assumes that if she can read people’s thoughts, her brethren should be able to read hers. And so she speaks her thoughts out loud in her mind, calling out for a potential response:

“Hello? Hello? Is anyone out there like me? A changeling like me? Hello…?”

Vyerith eventually wanders into a tavern where she meets Vhalak. She recognizes what he is immediately. Vyerith, desperate for belonging, eats up every sweet and seductive word that Vhalak feeds her. And thus begins their troubled relationship.

Vhalak, the manipulative master

Vhalak is just about as one dimensional in the module as Vyerith. He takes the form of a male drow overseeing two bugbears digging for a magic artifact in Wave Echo Cave. If he manages to escape to warn the Black Spider that the party is approaching, he assumes the form of Nundro Rockseeker, Gundren’s brother, and pretends to be a hostage to gain leverage over the party.3 However, if we make Vhalak the manipulative “master” of Vyerith, there’s a lot more we can do with the character.

After they first meet, Vhalak tells Vyerith that all humans are base and evil creatures, that changelings like she and him must stick together and forge their own destiny against the world. Vhalak uses techniques that a cult leader might use to brainwash his new protegé. At some point, Vyerith becomes an unflinching devotee to her master Vhalak. I imagine their relationship might be similar to the Joaquin Phoenix and Philip Seymour Hoffman relationship in The Master (Not the best movie, but not bad either. Worth watching just for the performances).

Vhalak’s motivations stem from the want of control and power. In order to acquire these, he’s content to manipulate things from the sidelines, taking the place of a trusted lieutenant or second-in-command of someone powerful. So it makes sense that he would be curious about what the Black Spider is doing and eventually want to replace some of Nezznar’s more trusted lieutenants.

Vhalak and Vyerith Replace Nezznar’s Trusted Lieutenants

Because Vhalak is a gatherer of secrets and can read the thoughts of anyone within 60 feet of him, it wouldn’t be unusual that he would catch on to Nezznar’s schemes. There’s great potential for power and wealth with the discovery of the Lost Mines, so it makes sense that Vhalak and Vyerith would replace some of Nezznar’s existing flunkies and assist Nezznar in his overtaking of the mines. I imagine that sometime in the future the two doppelgangers may betray Nezznar, but that’s a decision for the DM to make down the road should it come to that.

Potential Uses for The Dopplegangers

While I think it’s interesting for the PCs to confront Vyerith as written in the module so that the party has a chance to interrogate and perhaps even learn Vyerith’s true identity, there are countless other NPCs the doppelgangers could impersonate:

  • Iarno Albrek – This would explain Iarno’s sudden departure from the Lord’s Alliance (The other explanation is he’s just selfish and evil). Perhaps Iarno was actually an upstanding member and was recently replaced. Thus his recent actions betraying the Alliance and forming the redbrands could be explained.
  • Harbin Wester – This makes a lot of sense as well. Why the hell has Harbin Wester ignored the redbrands altogether and focused solely on the orcs harrowing the Triboar Trail? The answer hinted to in the module is that he’s incompetent, but there’s more we can do with this. Since orcs and goblins are natural enemies, perhaps doppelganger Harbin wants the orcs out of the picture so that the Cragmaw tribe can overrun everything.
  • Elsa – Elsa is the gossipy barmaid in the Stonehill Inn. This suggestion was provided to me by Eric Kamander, who has been writing recaps of his party’s Phandelver and post Phandelver exploits on his blog. When Eric ran the module Elsa “was totally enthralled with the party’s exploits and was always praising them. They totally ate it up and told Elsa all about their exploits and plans, since she said she wanted to become a bard so she could sing of their tales. You can imagine their surprise when Carp found her week-long-dead body in the woods.” (See: Link to post recapping Elsa’s interaction with Eric’s party.)
  • Droop – I’ve run Phandelver twice, and both times the party has adopted the pathetic little goblin. Droop makes for a perfect spy.
  • Sildar Hallwinter – Also a possible doppelganger candidate. However, replacing him at the beginning of the adventure introduces too many plot holes: Wouldn’t Sildar’s replacement want to keep Klarg as the ruler of the Cragmaw hideout? Why would the doppelganger want to spy on the adventurers at this point in the adventure before they have really made a name for themselves? If introduced later in the story, however, fake Sildar betraying the party could make for an interesting twist.
  • Gundren Rockseeker – There are plenty of opportunities for a doppelganger to replace him and this could make for a compelling option as well.

The above options work better if the doppelgangers are actual loyal followers of the Black Spider and not pretending to work for him, as it doesn’t make sense that he’d direct them to replace any NPC if he didn’t know Vyerith and Vhalak were doppelgangers in the first place. For me it’s more interesting if they are their own free agents, so I had my players encounter the doppelgangers as written in the module.

Thoughts? How have you used the doppelgangers in your game?

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Choosing the Way of the Coder

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zen-stones

In Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist a mysterious old man by the name of Melchizidek presents the protagonist Santiago with two mystical stones by the name of Urim and Thummin. He tells Santiago to consult them when his path is unclear. Should he retrieve the black stone from the pouch, the answer to his question was “yes.” Should the the white stone surface, then the answer was “no.”

I found myself inspired by Santiago’s openness to the unknown and a little envious that he had the wisdom and the magic of the stones to help guide him to the right path. Like Santiago, I wanted to pursue a meaningful and fulfilling life, and yet, without any mystical omens to guide me, I found myself stumbling from one unfulfilling job to the next.

As my shelf and my kindle list filled up with career and self-help books, I began to learn, both through the advice they offered and through my own experience, that while no Melchizdek will come knocking at my door, I can develop a sense of what is right for me as well as the openness and courage to explore new things. Through developing this openness, I learned that I enjoyed software development, something which I had once viewed as a soulless pursuit. Through reading about the stories of others who had taken risks and found fulfilling careers, I found the courage I needed to take the leap.

Eventually, I quit my final job as an internet marketer and put down the cash to enroll in Code Fellows, a Seattle software development bootcamp. It was a big decision, and while I did wrestle with some uncertainty before making it, I also felt a level of confidence I had never felt before. I felt confident because I could find meaning in the value coding offered others; because learning the secret language of machines and using it to solve problems felt utterly engaging. And yes, I’ll admit that the fact I wouldn’t have to worry about paying the rent as a developer boosted my confidence as well. Over many years of searching, these three standards of meaning, engagement, and financial security had become my guides, and as I started taking my first steps into the world of code, they were there to reassure me, encourage me, and urge me forward.

Meaning

The first guide, meaning, is the “why” of your work. It’s what keeps you going when the work isn’t particularly fun or financially rewarding. But you can be mislead by it.  This guide can become a creature of the ego–a preening, haughty, and ultimately frail thing that inflates when people shower it with praise, and shrinks, withers, and dries up when encountering criticism and indifference.

If you follow this creature of ego as I have sometimes done, you’ll pursue some goal or path because you want to be better than others or to stand out from the crowd. The problem is that the moment you receive criticism you’ll either give up because you’ve derived all motivation from what others think of you, or you may double down on your endeavors and drown out the voices of others who may provide you with constructive criticism. You may achieve some success by following the advice of this creature, but oftentimes it’s short lived. The creature is always hungry for more.

If, on the other hand, your “why” is driven by the need to contribute and help others, it will make you think about the value your work can provide. You’ll ask yourself if the work helps you grow and if you’ll be satisfied that the time you’ve invested has been a net positive for you and those you serve through your work. You do your work to the best of your ability not because it makes you look good, but because it’s an offering of respect to those who have decided to pay for what you do. This ensures that even if you don’t reach the pinnacle of achievement for the path you’ve chosen, you’ll feel content that the work you’ve done was worthwhile.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to ignore the drive of ego completely. There’s a part of me that wants to be envied and have valuable skills and knowledge that others don’t have. I must admit that I do find some motivation and purpose in that. But I also find purpose in the feeling that I’m acquiring the tools and knowledge to solve problems I care deeply about. As a junior developer, I do modest work. In my first month on the job I had spent most of my time orienting myself to an overwhelming amount of code and doing minor bug fixes. And yet, this was the first time my work felt like a true offering. I could point to what I had done, and I didn’t have to resort to any mental gymnastics to convince myself or others of its value.

Code is meaningful to me because it makes up our world: from simple websites to algorithms that regulate the dosages for radiation treatments. As a coder, I can ensure that the little part of this world that I build I build with care and attention. And even if it never happens, I find real motivation in the idea that one day I could help create something that could enrich the lives of many.

Engagement

The second guide, engagement, is about the enjoyment of your work as you do the work.

Have you ever been so engrossed in a task that all chatter in the mind fades, and your sense of self recedes into the background, so much that it seems as though you don’t make your own decisions, but rather the decisions are made through you, and you feel a sense of delight in watching your work unfold?

If so, you’ve experienced what psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi calls “Flow,” a state of heightened concentration and complete engagement. To Csíkszentmihályi, finding work that consistently brings us to flow is the key to happiness, and I believe that’s the reason why so many people from diverse backgrounds have learned to enjoy programming, because of how easy it is to enter a state of Flow when developing software.

Three conditions that are essential to Flow are:

  1. Having a clear goal.
  2. Immediate feedback.
  3. Having the right amount of challenge.

Clear Goals
Anyone who has worked in a job where the goals are nebulous or nonexistent know how demotivating that can be. After all, how can you feel any sense of progress or achievement when you don’t have a clear idea of what you’re progressing toward?

With coding, I’ve rarely found myself in this situation. It’s as though the goals are already set for me. I know what features need to be built and what bugs need to be fixed. I know that web pages need to be loaded in 2 seconds or less and I know what behavior to expect from software when I complete a feature. Yes, sometimes the goals in coding are not always the right ones, and can lead to unforeseen consequences down the line, but at least there is always a direction to move toward. This fuels a sense of productivity and progress that often leads to flow.

Immediate Feedback
In software development, you write tests to ensure that your code does what you want it to do and when they pass you get instant validation that you’ve pulled it off.  If the code doesn’t work, you investigate what went wrong and then you try something new based on what you find. You try your new solution out and you continue to get instant feedback. Granted, the feedback isn’t always helpful or informative, but the fact that it’s always immediate can give you a sense of progress at every stage.

NOTE: I should point out that there are integration tests that can take a significant time to run, so feedback in software development is not always immediate. But hey, no job’s perfect, right? 😛

Challenge
Unfortunately, most coders, especially beginners, don’t spend 100% of their time in a heavenly state of flow, and the reason is oftentimes that the problems that need to be solved are so challenging that you feel anxious, frustrated, or sometimes even like you want to abandon coding altogether.

The trick to entering flow is to have just the right amount of challenge for your skill level. As shown by this handy chart below, too much challenge and you become anxious. Too little challenge and you suffer boredom:


Mental state chart model by Csíkszentmihályi. Source: Wikimedia Commons

Striking this balance, especially when learning to code, is not always possible. Indeed, when I was at Code Fellows, our class was designed so that we’d be “just barely drowning” nearly every day. Depending on the day, my emotions ranged from triumph (I just solved a difficult problem! I am the best!) to despair (I can’t figure this out. I might as well give up). My experience ran all over that chart, with boredom being the one possible exception.

I noticed, however, that even when I found myself up against what seemed an impossible problem, there were plenty of books, internet articles, teachers, and fellow students to point me in the right direction. Because my goal was clear, and because I was able to get regular feedback whenever my code failed to work, I was able to progress quickly towards whatever goal had been set, no matter how impossible it may have seemed at first.

Although learning to code can be very challenging, the combination of clear goals and immediate feedback can help accelerate the learning process, and often gives you glimpses of flow, even when your skills are put to the test. As you continue to code, moments of flow become more common as the number of problems you tackle will match your level of skill.

Financial Security

The third guide is financial security. Wait, what? Shouldn’t we just “follow our passion” instead?

I grew up indoctrinated in the church of following one’s passion. And I must admit that I feel a vague sense of shame when I tell people that I’ve chosen software development as my new path. There’s a part of me that wonders if I’m being judged for choosing security and stability over more uncertain but potentially more rewarding paths.

I eventually realized, however, that when it comes to financial security vs. finding your passion, there actually is no choice. If you had to choose between starvation and a menial job fastening zippers to jackets in a sweatshop, you’d choose the sweatshop every time. You wouldn’t have the luxury to think about following your passion because the options are so incredibly limited. You’d line up for that zipper job and you’d feel grateful if you got it.

The very fact that we’re having a debate between choosing a life of stability and financial security and choosing a life of creative expression, purpose and meaning, shows just how affluent our society has become. As Eunice Hii says in her Illuminating talk, Don’t Just Follow Your Passion: A Talk for Generation Y: “Passion is a Privilege.” The fact that we are able to pursue our passions today is incredible–a luxury that few generations who’ve lived before us have known.

So while passion is important, security will always win. The only difference from person to person when it comes to pursuit of passion is:

  • The amount of security needed
  • Knowledge of opportunities available

How much security do you need?
While security will always win in an equal battle, you have to think about what defines security for you personally. Can you live from day to day without a worry about your next meal or next month’s rent? I know some people who can, although they usually count on the support of family and friends should the worst case scenario come to pass.

On the other end of the spectrum are people who don’t feel comfortable without a decent income, a good health insurance plan, and a 401k. If these things aren’t taken care of first they can’t pursue their passion because they’re too busy worried about paying the rent not just months from now, but years from now.

Any honest talk about the pursuit of passion has to start with the level of security you need in order to do so. As Penelope Trunk said: “No great art was made by a person who can’t pay rent. If you can’t pay rent, you think about that constantly, to the point that it’s impossible to consider the perfect word or the perfect shade of blue.”

I almost agree with this, but I would revise it to say that no great art was made by a person worried about paying rent. This is an important distinction.

I’m a worrier descended from a long line of worriers. And find that I identify much more with the those who need more security than those who can make do with less. I’ve been told to follow my passion all my life. This is probably why I’ve felt shame every time I’ve traded passion for security.

But instead of feeling shame for these decisions, I’ve learned that it’s much more productive to be realistic about the level of security I need and try to adjust it by:

  • Reducing worry through mental training: meditation, therapy, hypnosis, NLP etc.
  • Thinking through the true consequences of a worthwhile risk (Will I really end up homeless if the career change doesn’t work out? Probably not).
  • Learning and researching opportunities where fulfilling work also fulfills my need for security.

Learning About Opportunities
I believe that of these options, the third is the easiest. If your need for stability and security is high, it would behoove you to spend your time exploring fields you are passionate about that fulfill your need for meaning and creative expression. Chances are that as you search, you may find hobbies that don’t pay well, but you may also find an opportunity where both your passion and need for security meet. The trick is to expose yourself to new ideas, new worlds, and new ways of thinking. If I had done this at an earlier age, I may have discovered my interest in coding much earlier–an interest which, as it happens, pays very well.

Choosing a Way

It’s no coincidence that Taoism, one of the most influential Eastern religions, simply means “The Way.” Choosing a Way is much more than choosing a set of tasks to occupy our time.  Our choice is a chance for personal expression and connection, a chance to grow in our skills and engage fully in the performance of a task. It’s integral to our sense of self-worth and value and it’s the way we support our own livelihood and those who depend on us.

When choosing the way of code, I decided to devote all of my attention, time, and resources to making the career change and I don’t think I could have done it without feeling confident that it was the right choice for me. And while I didn’t have any mystical divining stones to guide me, I had developed a sense of what was important to me. Perhaps that was all I needed.

Zen Stones Photo Credit: George Hodan